The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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