I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
