Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
