saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
