It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
