quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
