4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Randomize
