This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
