he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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