How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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