Umm I'm too high to move.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
