Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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