I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
