Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
