Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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