Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
