I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
