Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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