we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
