It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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