Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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