Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
