I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
