No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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