doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
