Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
