your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
