I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
