I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
