New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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