yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
