I cannot find my penis.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We had sex on a dog bed..
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
