oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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