Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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