she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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