i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize