I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
