i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
