Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(519): View more from Ontario

All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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(585): View more from New York

we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night

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(360): View more from Washington

you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.

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(571): View more from Virginia

The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or

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(785): View more from Kansas

My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go

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(303): View more from Colorado

its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN

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