Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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