I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
