My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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