Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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