dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize