I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
