I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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