I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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