Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I bet he comes in French.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
