didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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