So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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