Already got asked if we're dating
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
