guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
