...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
