This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
