if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
