Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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