when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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