Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
