I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
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