I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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