I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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