I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So vagazzling was a success
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm always down for nudity.
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