Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
