I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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