I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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