No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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