P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
