she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
